By all standard definitions of the word, I believe I could potentially be classified as insane.

However, before you choose to judge me on that, consider this. I created this blog for the sole purpose of having an anonymous method to output the thoughts that I’m forced to hide on a regular basis. For the sake of society, the free world, love, peace (and other melodramatic things), I keep these thoughts hidden, locked away in a box that is not appropriate for injection in polite conversation. I believe if I was truly honest with everyone, about the things I’ve seen, heard and felt, I just might be exiled into the arena of society reserved for mentally disabled individuals.

To the rest of the world, I am a perfectly normal, capable, and sane human being.

However, for you, Dear Reader, I am exposing my thoughts, allowing you a brief glimpse into the core of knowledge that composes my being. In this, it could be said that you have more of an intimate view of the inner workings of my mind than those who have known me for many years. Even my closest friends aren’t privy to what I plan to share with you, a secret protected by the wonderful invention of online anonymity.

To phrase this lightly, let me ask a question. Have you ever had irrational thoughts, things that you know you are unable to share, thoughts that are unsuitable for the ears of those around you? Have you ever felt like something was different about you, and not just the misguided uniqueness that is instilled in us all during childhood? Are there nights when you lay awake, tormented by the knowledge that there are dark thoughts that you will never be able to share with even those people who are closest to your heart?

These moments in our humanity, these times of ultimate solitude could also be called moments of ultimate honesty. For the sake of society, we hide these things from the rest of the world, shuffle them away in dark corners of our mind which only return during dreams.

If your interest is piqued, I urge you to follow on what I plan to be the most spectacular unveiling of the secret human psyche than has ever truly occurred. I invite you to take a journey with me, into the dark corners of my mind that I’ve suffocated for the sake of those around me. I promise, you will not be disappointed.

Guild Wars, which still ranks among my favorite MMORPG's. The artwork for Guild Wars 2 is absoultely gorgeous, I'm really looking forward to it. <3

It was 3:45 am on a Wednesday night, the chilly December air sneaking in through an uninsulated window. I was glued to my computer screen, my noise-cancelling headset blocking out the echoing techno beat of the dorm party going on downstairs. My Counter-Strike clan was just about to take our 9th straight victory for the night. Amazingly, Kira (our newest prodigy) had the game-winning kill, and we all cheered him over ventrilo. As much as I wanted to play another match, I had an 8am Shakespeare class, and I knew it was time to slip away.

“I’ll see you guys later,” I said into the microphone, still pumped with adrenaline from the match. “I’m going to play some Persona 2 until I zonk out.”

There was a short silence among my clan, which was unusual amidst the usual rowdiness and half-serious insults.

Finally, Dante (our clan leader) spoke up, his voice vaguely uncertain over his high-quality mic. “Isn’t that one of those JRPG’s?”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling at my computer screen. “It’s pretty awesome, I love the gameplay style. I’m hooked.”

I heard muffled laughter, which came from Kyo and Bulletz. “You’re going to go play an RPG?” I couldn’t tell which one of them spoke.

“Um… yeah,” I said, frowning slightly at my mic. “What’s wrong with that?”

More laughter, and it was finally Dante that spoke again. “Kael, RPG’s are for n00bs that have no reflexes, and can’t pwn at FPS.”

I felt vaguely insulted, and a bit miffed at the hidden accusation. “What are you talking about? It’s a great game.”

More laughter, then a distant, “She’s a girl, retard. Girls play RPG’s.” and “She’s sixteen, what do you expect?”

Dante spoke again, and I had the vague feeling that he was trying not to laugh along with the clan. “Eh, Kael… Yeah, nevermind. See you tomorrow at practice.”

I gave a quick goodbye, and logged off. A short time later, battling my way through demons in SMT: Persona 2, I couldn’t help but wonder at Dante’s words. Was that really what RPG’s were to the competitive gaming crowd?

Persona 2 was a largely ignored gem among the JRPG's for PS1. The sequels (Persona 3 and 4) are even more macabre and beautiful.

*****

Later, I would come to realize that the odd view of my old clan-mates really was a perception that many competitive gamers shared. Engaging in RPG gameplay was sometimes ignored, jeered or seen as part of a ‘casual’ gaming trend. Though this viewpoint wasn’t shared by everyone, it still made it socially unacceptable in certain gamer circles to spend a significant amount of time playing RPG’s.

Now, to clarify, I haven’t based my gaming identity off of one particular genre. I love almost every gaming genre – excluding sports games, which I simply never found interesting. Though I spend a lot of time playing RTS-themed games, I also loved the thrill of FPS matches, as well as the split-second decisions required in fighting games. I enjoy any game that requires strategy, tactical decision-making and utilization of dynamic environmental conditions.

One of the many gorgeous landscapes in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

However, I must admit that I am inexplicably drawn to games in the RPG genre. I do not believe that this has anything to do with “n00b-status” or gender. Instead, I often encounter the same gameplay elements that I value in other genres, yet packaged with an engaging, immersive story. I find RPG’s that allow you to affect the outcome or relationships in the game particularly appealing, since each decision that you make has tangible consequences. For example: In Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, if you decided to be naughty and let a fireball loose in a major city, you may accidentally kill NPC’s that could have been involved in late-game quests. Also, the public’s perception of you would change to reflect your behavior. This concept has (of course) been further explored in more recent games, such as Dragon Age and Mass Effect.

Mass Effect 2 draws on the successful elements of ME1, including even more dynamic relationships, and improved combat strategy options.

What is it, then, that causes certain gamers to view the RPG genre with disdain? I have heard many arguments on this subject, including:

• In an RPG, your character progresses in skills, while you yourself don’t gain any skills.
• Playing an RPG only includes meaningless grinding and boring quests.
• RPG’s don’t require the quick reflexes of other gaming genres.
• In turn-based RPG’s, there’s no strategy involved in the combat.
• RPG’s are only for girls.

I find all of these arguments ill-conceived and unresearched. Just like with any other gaming genre, it’s impossible to make such broad generalizations. Sure, there are really poorly-made RPG’s, and some of them do follow the cliché, overused dungeon-crawling formula. However, its impossible to justify alienating an entire genre due to unfounded prejudice. For example, I’m not a huge fan of sports games, but if someone asks me to play, I wouldn’t refuse due to my past experience with other sports games. If the gaming industry’s history is any indication, there are always new and creative concepts being introduced into games of every genre.

The gambit system in Final Fantasy XII was complex, if a bit flawed. It opened up opportunities for potentially amazing improvements in future RPG's.

The argument that RPG’s lack strategy is another one that I find to be slightly odd. The leveling system in some RPG’s is so complex, it takes several gaming sessions to fully master. Micro-managing the skills and strengths of a 4-8 member team is by no means easy, nor is developing specific strategies for different types of enemies. I’m reminded of Final Fantasy XII when I hear this argument, and the painstaking process of reformulating gambit orders, types and targets before certain frustrating boss battles. Spells like “Stop”, “Reverse”, “Balance” and “Telega” required careful thought and strategy in order to avoid or reduce their effects.

It could even be deemed impossible to compare/contrast the RPG genre with the FPS or RTS genre, simply because each genre incorporates completely different defining elements.

Anyway… I guess that turned out to be a miniature-rant. Oops. :p I just wanted to state why I disagree with people who think that RPG’s are only appropriate for certain types of gamers, or are “less-hardcore” than other game types. What do you think? <3

I'm counting each of these lovely, sun-filled days until November, and NaNoWriMo. <3

I’ve been attempting to keep a semi-daily journal lately, which has done wonders for my descriptive writing. Since most of my professional writing involves using SEO (Search Engine Optimization) tactics, client requested keyword stuffing, bland and/or non-confrontational language… I’ve forgotten just how much pleasure I get out of a simple freewrite.

Now, that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy my professional writing career – quite the opposite! I relish the opportunity to continue to learn, explore and research topics that I normally would overlook. As a writer, I also go by the mantra, “Any writing is good writing” – not necessarily meaning the quality of the writing, but that writing itself is beneficial to the writer. By having such a variety of clients, I’m also gaining valuable experience that (hopefully) only serves to augment my potential future writing endeavors.

Ghostwriting is a double-edged sword, though. I can never admit to writing many of the hundreds (thousands?) of articles that I give to be published under another writer’s name. Sometimes, I finish a masterpiece, and just as I’m about to explode with pride at finally getting it right – it is shipped off, sliced down, and stuffed with backlinks or automatic pop-up ads. I know I’m silly in cringing every time I come across one of these particular articles on the web – I guess it’s just one of those things that affects certain writers. Though I’m aware that assigning an emotional attachment to an article about medical diagnosis methods is counterproductive, I still do it. Silly Arumi. :p

That last paragraph sounded a bit too negative… D: That wasn’t exactly how I imagined it! Oh well. I’m practicing *not* over-editing my writing, since it becomes an incredible process that never reaches a conclusion, and I never get anything published. :p

Sometimes I sit at my computer, my fingers tapping away imagined descriptive words, and the world simply seems to disappear. I become immersed within the words, as if they have suddenly sprung to life with incredible vigor. The desire to write consumes my thoughts, and all other distractions are pushed aside. The physical sensation of my fingers against the keys slips away, and there are only the words, each personified in a flowing river of elaboratism. There is no language to describe such moments, no words to do justice to the feeling of being really, truly immersed in your writing. I only hope that other writers experience a similar feeling, and that I’m not experiencing some sort of undiagnosed “writer madness” that is accompanied by cravings for coffee and late-night Chinese food.

I typed several more paragraphs after this, but I violated my rule, and ended up deleting them. Sometimes, certain thoughts just don’t convey properly to words, or aren’t relevant enough to justify posting on a public blog. ;) Another day, then! Rawr. <3

*** This essay is an experiment in creating an opposing argument to one presented in an article on psychology. The argument that I present herein does not necessarily reflect my own opinions, thoughts or beliefs (or does it? I’ll leave that up to interpretation. :p). Also, my knowledge of psychology is rudimentary at best, and based mostly on self-teaching, college courses and personal experience. I just thought it would be interesting to attempt to point out ‘flaws’ in an article published by an ‘expert’. ;) Again, I AM NOT AN EXPERT! This essay was written in about 20-30 minutes, and hasn’t been edited yet. So please don’t eat me. Please feel free to share your own opinions (or constructive criticism of my argument) in the comments section. <3 ***

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This essay is written as a response to an article I read this morning on CNN, that stated that being monogamous is unnatural for the human species. As I am not led by any religious bias on this issue, I thought it would be prudent to share an opposing argument.

To put it frankly, I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement presented in this article.

I’ve been seeing more and more studies that cite it as “normal” and “encouraged” to not be faithful to a spouse or significant other. These studies often recite our “human history” as a roving band of hunters, gatherers and nomads. The argument in this particular article states that within early human tribes, groups of people would share their children, possessions, and of course their women. Children would be breast-fed by many “mothers”, as each woman was sometimes impregnated by multiple men in her lifetime.

My question is – so what? What gives this writer the right to make such a broad generalization about what is “right” or “natural” for the entire human species? Based on a select few supporting “facts”, he is free to create his study as he sees fit. If I tried hard enough, I could probably prove that it was natural for humans to roll in their own feces, just because it’s theorized that our ancestors may have done it.

Another problem that I have with the argument that this writer presents is that he claims that with the advent of agriculture, women were no longer shared, and become essentially “possessions” of a single man. This statement uses the controversial “objectification of women” issue in an obvious way to promote an emotional response among people viewing his ‘research’. Essentially, a woman might read that, and think, “Oh, objectification of women! Since he says that, and it’s connected to monogamy, he’s right, and monogamy must be wrong”. This type of manipulation tactic is often used in psychological studies. Apples to oranges, anyone? To quote the article:

“With agriculture, the human female went from occupying a central, respected role to being just another possession for men to accumulate and defend, along with his house, slaves and asses.”

In another statement, the writer of this article draws on the differences between current society and ancient human social habits. Before our evolution, we lived in tribes that highlighted mutual dependence. Essentially, every member of the tribe had to depend on the others in order to survive. Possessions and services were shared, in order to ensure the tribe’s survival. Today, the writer states that we highlight “private property and personal responsibility”. It could be theorized that he is saying that we have strayed far from our roots of evolution.

My disagreement with this is as follows: FALSE! Our society still almost entirely revolves around mutual dependence. Our social lifestyles depend on specific companies, organizations and government laws that allow us to continue flourishing as a species (read: ‘ensure our survival’). Do you make your own electricity? Grind your own hamburgers? Where does your trash go after you haul it out to the curb? Today’s society is just as dependent on shared resources and services, just not in the context that the writer uses to support his thesis presented in the article. Again, another argument taken out of context by the writer.

There are several other arguments presented in this article that draw on the similarities between humans and primates. Since it is said that we evolved from primates, obviously their behavior must be what our “natural” desires are, right? The writer states that when a female chimp is ovulating, she will have sex with multiple partners, dozens of times per day. Bonobos engage in frenzied group orgies, which promote a “conflict-free” attitude.

Even if the comparisons that the writer draws between humans and chimps are valid, he completely disallows for the possibility that humans have evolved PAST their primate relatives, into a society that highlights the emotional importance of committing to a single partner.

Of course, I’m obligated to state that I don’t support marriage simply because you feel like you are obligated to commit to SOMEONE. But that’s the topic of another essay – I’m just trying to make sure I cover all of my bases with this argument. :p

To close, should we regress to the state of our primate relatives, and begin throwing feces when we get upset/excited? Should we think that this behavior is natural, and simply an “incontrovertible” part of our being? The article’s point is interesting, but completely flawed in its application and sources. I have to respectfully disagree with Christopher Ryan’s theory.

Every person is born with gifts, wonderful skills that make us each unique and special in the world. Even in the face of great challenges, it’s important for each of us to realize that we truly do have gifts, even if they require a bit of ‘polishing’. The process of augmenting your natural gifts is difficult, as if we are each rough-cut gemstones, required again and again to put ourselves at risk for failure. This process is what makes us each stronger, more confident, and more sure of our unique talents. Even when it becomes tempting to give up, it’s incredibly important to remember that each unrealized dream simply brings with it important lessons. This, in itself, is the greatest and most valuable lesson of all.

<3

The loading screen, my ever-present companion. :p <3

There are many experiences that I could cite as being incredibly influential to my development as a gamer. Building my first computer, sharing a N64 console with my brother, receiving a Gameboy Color system for Christmas, playing Diablo II obsessively throughout college – all of these experiences are valuable to me, each in their own unique way. However, for a moment, I would like to reflect on an experience that really taught me a lot, about more diverse topics than simply my development as a gamer.

On April 24^th of 2007, I stood outside my local Gamestop, bouncing from foot to foot to ward off the chill spring air. The store was nothing impressive – the lights in the sign were half burnt out (naming the storefront “Gamsop”), and the narrow concrete walkway outside the door was cracked in several places. I was nearly alone, save a few other brave souls (mostly teenage boys), who eyed me with confusion. I heard whispers of “Is she with you?”, though I was far too distracted to notice. The hype surrounding a new game was a tangible buzz in the air, causing my excitement to steadily build.

After what seemed like a lifetime, a skinny redheaded boy came to unlock the door, and I practically ran past him to the checkout counter. Still slightly breathless from the cold, I managed to wheeze, “Preorder” and toss my well-worn Edge Card onto the counter. The long-haired, scruffy-faced youth behind the counter eyed me a bit apprehensively, but complied. Several minutes later, I burst from the store, hugging a brand-new copy of Lord of the Rings Online.

Now, it’s easy to laugh at my prior obsession over this game – As of right now, it’s generally regarded by most people as “Just another WoW Clone”. The news that LOTRO is going free-to-play has sparked some interest, but most people claim they saw it coming for the tired, worn-out franchise. However, on this particular day, I was in a state of bliss. I’m a huge Tolkien fan, and being able to roam over the lands of Middle Earth was akin to realizing a wistful childhood fantasy. I popped the install disc into my newly rebuilt PC, and waited for the epicness to begin.

It was around this time that I really began using my handle “Arumi”. After a wonderful membership in several other MMO guilds under the name of “Kaeldra” (a character from “Dragon’s Milk”, a book I read as a child), I figured it was time for an upgraded character name. After a brief relapse into a MMO that I played in my earlier days, I began using “Arumi” as my chosen identity. When my LOTRO client was finally installed, I chose to be Arumi once more, the fearless Elven Lore-Master. My pointy-eared, pig-tailed character loaded quickly into the world (I had just purchased a new video card), and I was ready to play.

My color-coordination was apparently lacking when I took this particular screenshot.. :p Hotpants ftw!

It’s true, the gameplay of LOTRO is similar to that of WoW, and I found many of the players to be “retired” World of Warcraft players. However, this post isn’t designed to give a review of the features of the game [that would take me several thousand words to cover ;) ] – I’d like instead to talk about my guild.

Now, I had never really classified myself as having a “leader” personality. In nearly every other game I had previously played (MMORPG, FPS, RTS, etc), I usually looked to other people for instructions. However, at a lowly level 5, I impulsively decided to create the “Band of Unlikely Heroes” Kinship, as a random inspiration from several members of the crafting channel that I was chatting with. The guild immediately had around 10 members, and we all laughed about our n00b status in the faux-Tolkien MMO world.

I set a few standards for the kinship early on – All members must be over the age of 18, use good grammar, be active at least once per week, and a few other qualifications. I’d never run a guild before, but I had been a member of guilds that too-often had difficulty communicating with younger members. Officers were selected based on their dedication, active playtime, and demonstration of a willingness to assist new guild members.

One of our early (and more goofy than productive) Officer meetings. :p

Before this experience, I had never really understood how much responsibility it is to manage a large group of serious MMO players. Since many of them were migrants from WoW, they had expectations for their guild leadership, including nightly meetings, regular quests, detailed strategy briefings, regular updates on the guild’s direction, written evaluations of new/current members… etc. In the beginning, I did stumble a bit, as I was currently working a full-time job. However, after the bumps were smoothed out, I eventually got the hang of balancing real life with my virtual LOTRO family.

It’s difficult to explain why exactly running a guild was such an educational experience, especially when I try to explain it to people who haven’t been in the same situation. There were the small duties – working out disagreements, dealing with people who believed that they had more ‘entitlement’ to be of higher rank, keeping conversations civil, keeping everyone in good spirits.

One of my favorite quests that a few of us did together <3

However, the greatest things that I learned were from interacting with a wide variety of people, each with different beliefs, gaming backgrounds, guild expectations and personality types. I had to become a leader, friend, consultant, strategist, psychologist, analyst and fearless decision-maker. I learned how to devise strategies compiled with detailed explanations, so that everyone could understand our focus during chaotic raids/quests. I already had a good deal of patience, but I learned how to combine that with gentle yet firm directions. I learned how to orchestrate huge team maneuvers, designate members to ‘squads’, and allocate kinship duties. When it came to my kinship’s economic standing in the virtual world, I learned how to make sure that we had a balance of professions, some of which were entirely dedicated to trading for better outfitting of our members. As my guild’s membership grew, I learned how to delegate duties so that I didn’t have to shoulder the entire burden of leadership.

I know it’s cliché to repeat what I said before, but I really learned so much! Before, I’d never thought myself capable of managing a 500+ member guild, and being able to accomplish the things that I did. My guild was awesome, and very patient with my “learning process” of being a first-time leader. It taught me that I can learn quickly, especially when the pressure is on! :p Today, I’d definitely rate it as being one of my “Top 10” favorite experiences in gaming. :)

This is the last screenshot that I saved from my time with LOTRO. Today, I hope that all of my prior guild-mates are doing well, and have progressed in their gaming adventures. ^.^

Last year, WCG Ultimate Gamer premiered on the Sci Fi channel. The show drew thousands of viewers, as 12 specially selected gamers clashed for the title of “Ultimate Gamer”. This year, the show returns, once again being a competition to find the best representative for the World Cyber Games.

The cast of WCG Ultimate Gamer 2009. On the top left is the lovely Amy, also known as Valkyrie of the Frag Dolls.

Right now, WCG is still in the selection phase. This week, the last round of voting will determine who is the final contestant on WCG Ultimate Gamer – Season 2.

Tunesha (xchickamungUsx) has 19 years of gaming experience, and is up against Dana (J for Jade) and Jake (Thirstee321) for the final round of voting.

My vote is definitely with Tunesha! I’ve worked with her at events, played her in several games, and had the opportunity to spend a lot of awesome quality time with her. As far as WCG, I really do think that she has the skills and the motivation needed to win! She is an amazing, lovable person with a good heart. When it comes to games, she really is good at everything!

Voting takes place here (WCG Site Link), which allows you to vote once per hour, per device. This means that each hour, you could potentially vote from your:

• Computer
• Laptop
• Smartphone
• DSi
• PSP
• PS3
• iPad
• iPhone

Tunesha seriously deserves this opportunity, in my opinion. She is an amazing person, a pro gamer, and with a great personality. :)

Tunesha on stage, playing Ubisoft's "Just Dance" at PAX 2009.

I recently had the opportunity to interview Tunesha about her life, gaming experience and other topics.

About Tunesha:

I’m a hardcore gamer, writer, competitor, and crusader for more females in gaming. I love vlogging as well and giving game reviews!  When I grow up I want to be a Story Writer and Creative Director for hit video games, a successful game journalist, and a voice actress.  I’ve met most of my best friends through gaming; my husband and I even spend some of our quality time playing co-op split screen FPS!  My life literally revolves around video games, and I love it!  GAMES, GAMES, GAMES!

When did you first become passionate about video games?

I became passionate about video games when I was 5 years old.  My sister had an NES and she played Pacman all the time!! She would play for hours trying to beat her high score, and she was so good at it!  I would sit next to her and cheer her on.  When she got close to beating her score, I would stand by really quiet, holding my breath so she could concentrate.  It was so exciting to watch, how could I not get into gaming? I started with the NES on Super Mario Bros, Zelda, and Punch Out!  Although, I never tried to get good at Pacman, that game was too intense for me, plus I could never be as good as my sister anyway!

-

When playing FPS with a team, do you play an aggressive role (run-and-gun, high KDR), or a support role(backup, covering for other teammates)?

*

To tell you the truth, I just like to fall into place.  Different people means different personalities/play styles, so it’s best to play a few games to see who’s skill shines best in different positions.  I will say that I take the aggressive role when I see that my team mates are turtlers, or seem to need direction, or slow to communicate.  But, I’ve played successfully in supportive roles too, especially when I feel my team dynamic works best when I’m in the background picking off the enemy so my teammates can sweep up the mess!  Team chemistry is UBER importante and so is communication!  I would never force myself in a position, it could throw the balance way off.

-

Who are some of the people that you admire most?

*

My mom and my sisters are some of the strongest people I know.  They’ve all been through a lot (we all have) and the fact that they’re all strong and beautiful women who can stand tall with their heads held high, it’s very inspiring to me.  I admire people who are the under dogs- people who have gone up against hard trials, and still achieved their goals.  I love it when I hear of people overcoming their disabilities, and sicknesses- maybe because some of my family members have made it through debilitating illnesses and are now well today.  It’s a testament to inner strength.  People who are confident in themselves without needing world validation are admirable too!  I also love meeting intelligent, beautiful women who break stereotypes!  So many things I admire.  I think I admire most people that society may look straight past.

-

What do you think sets you apart from the other contestants?

*

I know that I have what it takes to fulfill all the roles needed to be the Ultimate Gamer.  Although I’ve been a gamer for 19 years, and have been competing for almost 3 years, I know it’s not just about being good at games.  It’s also about being a good representative for gamers!  If you win, you’ll have to be a spokesperson for WCG and Samsung, and I have experience traveling and representing a large company in the Video Game Industry!  When I got to work with Ubisoft as a Frag Doll Cadette last year, I gained so much experience on the marketing side of the industry.  That job was so fast paced, I got to speak all day to consumers and managers at events about Ubisoft games, and it allowed me to get a feel for what it would be like to be a spokesperson for a video game company.  Most of the contestants don’t have that kind of background!  Not only can I perform well in a competition, but I can switch my super hero cape and become a spokesperson for World Cyber Games and Samsung!

-

What instrument do you play in Rock Band?

*

I play them all!  I’m a beast at vocals since I was a chorus girl in school, but I’m able to hold my own on drums and guitar on Hard.  Wanna know something odd?  I have to play guitar on Lefty mode with my right hand!  It’s the only way that I feel comfortable playing on guitar.

-

Do you think being a female gamer gives you an advantage or disadvantage in the gaming world?

*

Well, I’ve never felt disadvantaged by being a female in any industry.  Yes you have people who doubt your skill and capabilities, but oh the more fun to prove them wrong!  As long as your game is tight and you have the skill, I don’t think any woman should feel disadvantaged.  When you know your stuff and you’re confident about it, then you’ll succeed!  Now, if you asked me if I think I get more attention being a female, I’d say ‘heck yes”!  It’s not always welcomed attention, neither is it always positive, but I’m confident in myself and I’ve developed a tougher skin over the years!

-

Would you consider yourself a good “all-around” gamer, with skills in many different game genres?

*

Yes I would!  If you would have asked me that 1 year ago, I’d probably say ‘no’.  I’ve always been skilled at video games, I can learn a game in a few minutes easily- I wouldn’t be the best, but I improve very fast!  And I’ve always been good at Fighting games and Shooters (2 of my favorite genres), but after watching the first WCG Ultimate Gamer, I started practicing more genres since I knew that I wanted to be on the show!  Now I can say that I am an “all-around” gamer, and I have many secret weapons that I could use to surprise my competition if I land the 12th spot!  I plan on coming in 1st place quite often, hehe.

****

Me and Tunesha, during Pax 2009. <3

Non-Blur-Related Intro – Skip to the Review for Game Info. :)

My well-loved Nintendo 64 system now sits on my bookshelf, collecting dust. With the release of so many new and exciting games, I haven’t lately had time to pay homage to my cartridge game collection. Even back when I was in college, my roommate and I would invite a few friends over, order pizzas and rock out to some Perfect Dark (Laptop Gun ftw!). However, a game that has always invoked a special sort of nostalgia in me is Mario Kart. I’ve never been big for racing games, which I think I mentioned when I wrote a short review of Asphalt 4 – Elite Racing for the DSi. However, there’s something different about Mario Kart.

I’m a tactical game player, no matter which genre I’m in. This could be a by-product of my love for the RTS genre, since I’ve developed an acute affinity for organizing strats. Or, it could be a by-product of hundreds of hours playing MMO’s, where orchestrating the duties of guild leadership forced me to think of large-scale strategies for 500+ players. When I play FPS, I usually play a support role. I watch the stairs for a sniping teammate, map out positions of enemies from a non-combat vantage point and exercise distraction tactics for team maneuvers. In fighting games, I focus on disabling and debuffing my opponent. When I play RPG’s, I nearly always play a mage class, since I love having a wide variety of  skills to choose from for opportunistic decision making.

Anyway, I digress. My love of Mario Kart stems from its ability to blend racing with tactics. The game doesn’t only require you to have superior handling and control over your vehicle in order to win. No, you have to react to split-second changes in your environment. One of your opponents could toss a banana peel, zap you with lightning, mine you with a turtle shell, or obstruct your vision with ink.

Hence, one of the reasons why I pull a lot of similarities between Blur and Mario Kart, since they both have a similar strategic build. Now, for the actual game review. ;)

Actual Blur Review

This is an example of the "Shock" power-up in action.

Blur is a game that I’ve begun to lovingly call, “Mario Kart on Crack”. Depending on the class of racing you’re in, you could be flying down unpredictably curved tracks, dodging lightning bolts, all while evading ominous glowing red mines.

Graphics

I was completely blown away with the slick, polished graphics of this game. Since it was a limited release Beta, I didn’t expect it to look nearly as nice as it did. The vehicle designs are smooth, the movement of the map is able to transition without glitches, and the colors are bright and aesthetically appealing. The colors of the power-up effects are particularly noticeable, with each power-up having a distinctive color signature. Though simplistic and electricity-based, I actually never got tired of seeing the transitional effects of the power-ups on the vehicles.

Sound

I only had the opportunity to play Blur with a super-powered sound system recently, and was really surprised at the difference. The high-pitched whine of the engine is perfectly matched with the infinitesimal pause as the engine switches into the next gear. The vehicle sound effects give you an incredible sense of speed, enhancing the realism already presented with the polished graphics. The music has a themed background beat, fittingly giving you the sense of anticipation before the race begins. Overall, I was really impressed with the entire audio experience.

Progression

Blur is one of the few racers that I’ve played that has a “Level-Up” system. Upon finishing a race, you gain “fans”, which serve the purpose of experience points. You can also gain more fans for earning specific awards in each race, such as “Most Accurate”, “Least Accurate”, “Least Crashes”, and “Fastest Lap”.

By gaining ranks, you can unlock new cars, as well as modifications for your vehicle. For the Beta, the level cap is currently set at 15, which gives you a good indication on how the system works.

The graphics in this game are impressive with flashy, appealing colors.

Power-Ups

Since using power-ups has such a huge impact on how this game is played, I thought I’d give it its own section. Here are the power-ups that are currently being used in the beta:

Shield – This power-up allows you to be invulnerable to damage for a short amount of time. It can be used simply to shield after a group behind you has picked up shunts, or to prevent you from being damaged by smashing into a wall. On sharp corners, this is particularly helpful, especially if you’re forced into a wall by another player.

Shunt – This is this game’s “Red Shell”. It’s a homing device that causes catastrophic damage to the vehicle that it hits. It can navigate around corners, though can be easily avoided if shot from far away. To neutralize a shunt, you simply have to either shoot another power-up behind you to hit the shunt, or swerve from side to side to cause it to fly past you.

Shock – This lightning-bolt power-up causes a line of alternating lightning strikes to appear in front of the lead car in the race. This gives the person in first place the least amount of time to react and avoid them. However, the lightning bolts linger, and also need to be avoided by other cars in the race after the lead car has passed.

Mine – This orangish-black sphere of doom can be one of the primary weapons in Blur, especially when used in Class A racing (which gives you less time to react). Mines can be thrown in front of you, or placed behind you at any time. The best strategy is to place these mines around blind corners, on nitro stretches, or right behind a particularly desirable power-up.

Repair – As you sustain damage (both from power-ups and from hitting walls), your vehicle loses “health”. When you’re close to having no health, even a slight hit to your vehicle will cause you to wreck. To prevent this, you can use a Repair power-up to restore health to your vehicle.

Bolt – Picking up this power-up gives you three shots to hit any vehicles in front or behind you. Though it’s a bit difficult to aim, it can give you enough of an edge to pass the affected vehicle. If you shoot a bolt at a car while it’s navigating a road near a cliff, the shot can even be enough to knock the vehicle off of the cliff.

Nitro – This green power-up gives you a short burst of insane speed. By hoarding three nitros (the maximum amount of power-ups you’re allowed to hold), you can quickly overtake a long gap between you and the vehicle in front of you. You do lose control when using Nitro, so it’s best to only use it on long, straight stretches of road. If you try to fire a nitro while holding back on the joystick, your vehicle is severely braked, which could potentially be used for navigating around very sharp turns.

Barge – Using this power-up sends out a pulse of electricity from your vehicle, which shocks all other vehicles in a predetermined radius. It is extremely useful if you’re caught in a bottleneck, or being shoved around by a group of vehicles. Shooting off a pulse at the right moment can also help you to avoid a Shunt.

The Hummer may be difficult to manuver, but it more than makes up for it in sheer power.

Controls

For a racing game, Blur has fairly easy to learn controls. Depending on the vehicle (and upgrades) that you choose, it’s possible to adjust the control of the vehicle until it fits your playing style.

Conclusions

There are several things that could potentially be changed. However, remember that all of the comments that I list here are regarding the *Beta*, and may indeed be tweaked or changed by the time the full game is released. Once I have a change to play the full game, I’ll modify my review. :)

• Once you become skilled at Blur, it’s fairly easy to avoid the Shunts, making them relatively obsolete. Also, since the audio/visual “warning” that lets you know that you’ve been targeted activates immediately upon firing, it can give you a huge window of time to figure out how to dodge.
• Due to the level-up system, it takes a long time (even with uber-racing skills) to rank up when you’re racing high-rank unlockable cars. However, this gives lower-level players time to get used to the fast-paced playing style.
• It would also be nice to see a wider range of cars that are unlockable, each with slightly different handling/stats. This would give a greater degree of customization depending on a person’s preferred style of gameplay.
• The tracks become easy to navigate with experience, given that each power-up always spawns in the exact same spot. This feature gives bonuses to players who actually take the time to learn the tracks, allowing them to plan specific routes.

Shooting Shunts in front of you is a great way to overtake an opponent.

Preorder Bonuses

Depending on where you pre-order Blur, you’ll enjoy relatively different perks. For example:

Pre-order Blur from Gamestop, and you’ll receive:

• The Ford Bronco unlocked in multiplayer mode.
• The MotorMash game mode at Rank 1.
• Double Fans for the first five MotoMash Event.

Pre-order Blur from Best Buy, and you’ll receive:

• The Dodge Viper (600 horsepower) unlocked in multiplayer mode.

Pre-order Blur from Hollywood GameCrazy and you’ll receive:

• Double Fans after your first three races.

I mean, of course I do. Don’t we all dream about saving the world someday? :-P

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about serious subjects, such as my direction, purpose and future.

For example, I was approached by an energy drink company, asking me to promote their products. Of course, part of my reaction was, “ZOMG, I’m worth noticing!” :D However, after some thought, I wasn’t as excited. The more I thought about it, I haven’t “done” anything. I mean, of course I’ve done things – exciting things, great things. But I haven’t really accomplished anything that would make me a good fit to promote an energy drink. Once I agreed to that, I’d forever be associated with that energy drink – FOREVER. Not that I don’t like energy drinks, of course! But, do I have experience with energy drinks? Have I ever written a blog about energy drinks? Do I dream about energy drinks at night? Of course not. >.< If I agreed to that, I’d establish an identity as the “Energy Drink Girl”, which would follow me forever.

Maybe it’s not so smart of me, but I’m waiting for a greater opportunity. My two primary passions – writing and gaming – still have a chance of colliding, I hope. All I can do is keep pushing forward, stay motivated, keep doing the things that I love. I know it would be easy to give in, and accept something that I’m not particularly passionate about, to get tired of waiting. But I’m not going to give up! Optimism, which is sometimes viewed as a silly thing to cling to, is also a great way to stay motivated to accomplish something. I know dreaming about doing awesome things is not always a realistic option, but for now, I don’t feel guilty about continuing to do so. <3

I am teh kitteh. O.o

I’ve always been under the impression that I had to compromise between being a competitive gamer and a professional writer. Struggling with time management has always been the bane of my existence, along with a strangely innate desire to procrastinate until my deadline is threatening to come crashing down on my head.

However, I’ve come to think about it, and I’ve decided – Why can’t I be both? My passion for gaming motivates some of my best writing, even if it’s on an unrelated topic. Analyzing video games is something I do well, though is a topic that I haven’t lately had the opportunity to pursue. My client projects seem to eat up all of my free time, a few of them being repetitive enough to exhaust me of my writing stamina for the day.

I’m not usually susceptible to stress, but lately it has been attempting to sneak up on me, and use its evilness to distract me from my work. There have been lots of new decisions to make, new situations to adjust to, and a veritable menagerie of questions to answer. Having a naturally analytical mind, it’s all too easy for me to catch myself squinting at my computer screen, frowning at some sort of invisible Yōkai that’s trying to nomnom my motivation to get things accomplished.

I suppose some of this could be due to the fact that I’m in a sort of transitional phase, waiting for the outcome of several significant situations. This must be what I’ve heard others describe as an “impasse”, where you’re required to wait for the outcome before you can justifiably move forward. Of course I am hoping for the “ideal” result, but am (hopefully) prepared for what ever ends up happening. ^_^

Another important decision that I’ve recently made is to incorporate more FPS into my competitive training schedule. I’m not going to abandon RTS genre, but I do think that it’s important to diversify. Right now, I’m thinking about scheduling around 2-3 hours of FPS, and 1-2 hours of RTS each night. ^.^

I have all of these “epic” blog posts saved as drafts, on subjects such as game piracy, valid stereotypes, writing ideas… etc. However, I think I’m going to save them for another day, as they all need polishing and a lot of editing. This quick update will have to suffice for now. :p

Hopefully soon, my blog is going to undergo a cool overhaul. :D Stay tuned for more adventures!